Poseidon Rex is a 2013 American sci-fi horror film directed by Mark L. Lester (Firestarter), and starring Brian Krause, Anne McDaniels and Steven Helmkamp.

A small, secluded island off the coast of Belize suddenly finds itself terrorized by a deadly predator from the planet’s distant past when deep sea divers accidentally awaken an ancient evil.

Buy Poseidon Rex on DVD from Amazon.co.uk

“I watched this movie expecting total dreck. I was pleasantly surprised. The film is fun, entertaining and the CGI monster is actually not that bad. If you’re a fan of monster movies or dinosaurs then this is a great little low-budget romp.” Amazon reviewer

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Yongary: Monster from the Deep , original title: Yonggary or Yongary (Hangul: 대괴수 용가리; RR: Taekoesu Yongary; lit. Great Monster Yongary) is a 1967 South Korean Kaiju monster film directed by prominent genre-film director Kim Ki-duk. It stars Oh Yeong-il and Nam Jeong-im. It was released in 1969 in the USA by American International Pictures (AIP). The film is now considered to be in the public domain.

In 1999, a reimagining of the film was produced, released in Korea simply as Yonggary and released in the United States as Reptilian.

In the Middle East, a bomb is set off that creates massive earthquakes. Meanwhile in South Korea, a young couple is about to get married and the tension builds when South Korea sends a manned space capsule to investigate the bomb site. The earthquake makes its way to South Korea, caused by a giant monster named Yongary (inspired by a mythical creature in Korean lore). Yongary attacks Seoul and makes his way to the oil refineries where he consumes the oil…

‘What’s surprising about Yongary is how much effort seems to have gone into it, at least technically speaking. The budget was obviously agonizingly low, and the movie features some of the worst matte shots of all time, but there’s an enormous amount of miniature scenery getting smashed, and the monster suit itself is at least as good as what Toho was serving up in the late 1960’s. Such a shame, then, that the people responsible for this film didn’t feel the need to put commensurate effort into the acting, direction, or screenplay.’ 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting

‘Unfortunately, the effects as a whole were one of the weaker points of the movie. Yonggary’s fire breath was produced by a blow torch within one of the heads used for the monster’s effect, and the nozzle could clearly be seen during some of the scenes when he’s blasting fire. The sets were decent and looked realistic enough when it came to Yonggary destroying them, but when it came to actors interacting with the rubble, it wasn’t hard to tell that they were pieces of styrofoam or (in the case of bricks) cardboard boxes.’ Kaiju Classics

‘Yongary was obviously meant as a replay (some MIGHT say “rip-off”) of the Godzilla films. This is most notable in the destruction scenes where Yongary walks through a building VERY similar to Japan’s Diet Building which Godzilla walked though in the 1954 original and which King Kong climbed atop of in King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962). The special effects in Yongary are passable, but are not up to the standard set by Toho’s effects wizard, Eiji Tsuburaya. In particular, the scenes of the monster shooting fire features an obvious metal pipe protruding from the costume’s mouth. Actually, a Japanese cameraman was recruited by the Koreans to help make this film look as much like the Japanese monster films as possible.’ Joe Cascio, DVD Drive-In

Wikipedia | IMDb | We are grateful to Just Screenshots for some of the images above

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a 1931 American Pre-Code horror film directed by Rouben Mamoulian and starring Fredric March. The film is an adaptation of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1886), the Robert Louis Stevenson tale of a man who takes a potion which turns him from a mild-mannered man of science into a homicidal maniac. March’s performance has been much lauded, and earned him his first Academy Award.

In a London of fog and gas lamps, capes and canes, kindly Dr Henry Jekyll (pronounced by the entire cast to rhyme with ‘treacle’, correctly according to Stevenson) attends a lecture to his adoring contemporaries where he announces that he has discovered that Man’s very soul is split between the good, the desire to love and perform good deeds and the bad, where Man succumbs to his baser instincts. Whilst walking home through Soho with his colleague, Dr. John Lanyon (Holmes Herbert, The Invisible Man), Jekyll spots a bar singer, Ivy Pearson (Miriam Hopkins), being attacked by a man outside her boarding house. Jekyll drives the man away and carries Ivy up to her room to attend to her. Ivy begins flirting with Jekyll and feigning injury, but Jekyll fights temptation and leaves with Lanyon.

Unable to convince his beloved Muriel’s (Rose Hobart, later seen in Tower of London) father Brigadier General Sir Danvers Carew (the equally splendidly monickered Halliwell Hobbes) that a quick wedding would be preferable to the year he insists upon, Jekyll continues his experiments in his personal lab, waited upon by his faithful servant, Poole (Edgar Norton from Dracula’s Daughter and Son of Frankenstein), eventually developing a potion which he elects to test on himself. Transforming into a quasi-Neanderthal, dubbed Mr Hyde, he continues to swagger around the upper class haunts of Victorian London but with unabashed bravado and bestial relish, gatecrashing the club Ivy frequents and seducing her in an extremely unsubtle manner.

Imprisoning her in her own room at a boarding house, Hyde torments and abuses Ivy but as the potion’s effects wear off, Jekyll realises hid absence has done his chances of marrying Murial no favours, he leaves Ivy temporarily, vowing to teach her a lesson if she attempts anything silly. Convincing his future father-in-law that his absence is completely out of character, the marriage finally receives his blessing and a large party is organised to make the announcement public. He sends Ivy £50 by way of apology, prompting her to visit the mystery benefactor and falling for him once again. Alas, Jekyll has been taking increasingly large doses of the potion and upon having a momentary ‘dark thought’, he again transforms into his alter-ego, against his will, even more hideous than before.

Returning to Ivy’s lodgings, he reveals he and Jekyll are one and the same and after some more brutality, he goes the whole hog and murders her. With Lanyon now wise to what is going on, Hyde inevitably ends up at Murial’s house, attacking her and the rest of the household, killing her father in the process. With the police on his tale, Hyde and Jekyll struggle to come to terms with who holds the upper hand – is it too late for Jekyll to make amends?

The film was made prior to the full enforcement of the Hay’s Production Code and this should come as no surprise. The film bristles with sexuality, with barely veiled nods to rape and sexual violence and with the two leading ladies revealing plenty of leg and not a little cleavage. When it was re-released in 1936, the Code required 8 minutes to be removed before the film could be distributed to cinemas. This footage was restored for the VHS and DVD releases.

The secret of the transformation scenes was not revealed for decades (Mamoulian himself revealed it in a volume of interviews with Hollywood directors published under the title The Celluloid Muse). Make-up was applied in contrasting colors. A series of coloured filters that matched the make-up was then used which enabled the make-up to be gradually exposed or made invisible. The change in color was not visible on the black-and-white film. The effects are not advanced as those of 1940′s The Wolf Man, nor as ageless as 1932′s The Invisible Man but they are nevertheless remarkable.

A disgracefully uncredited Wally Westmore’s make-up for Hyde — simian and hairy with large canine teeth — influenced greatly the popular image of Hyde in media and comic books. In part this reflected the novella’s implication of Hyde as embodying repressed evil, and hence being semi-evolved or simian in appearance. The make-up came close to permanently disfiguring March’s own face. Westmore later helped create the similarly beast-like inhabitants of Island of Lost Souls.  The characters of Muriel Carew and Ivy Pearson do not appear in Stevenson’s original story but do appear in the 1887 stage version by playwright Thomas Russell Sullivan.

John Barrymore was originally asked by Paramount to play the lead role, in an attempt to recreate his role from the 1920 version of Jekyll and Hyde, but he was already under a new contract withMetro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Paramount then gave the part to March, who was under contract and who strongly resembled Barrymore. March had played a John Barrymore-like character in the Paramount film The Royal Family of Broadway (1930), a story about an acting family like the Barrymores. March would go on to win the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance of the role.

When Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer remade the film ten years later with Spencer Tracy in the lead, the studio bought the rights to the 1931 Mamoulian version. They then recalled every print of the film that they could locate and for decades most of the film was believed lost. Ironically, the Tracy version was much less well received and March jokingly sent Tracy a telegram thanking him for the greatest boost to his reputation of his entire career.

The film also makes better use of music than most other horror films of the 1930′s, including the celebrated studio of Universal. Beginning with the portent of Bach’s Fugue in D Minor, it shows Jekyll as an accomplished organist, the soundtrack making use of this diegetic tool. Miriam too plays the piano, whilst Ivy, of course, sings, the musical world of the good in contrast with the guttural grunts and hissing of Hyde. There is also a rare use of song in an early horror film, Ivy’s ‘theme tune’ “Champagne Ivy”, actually being an adaptation of the 19th Century music hall song “Champagne Charley”.

It was to be March’s only role in a horror film, though it was enough for him to claim the Oscar for best actor (tying with Wallace Beerey in The Champ). Though his slightly simpering Jekyll make grate somewhat, his Hyde is a miraculous performance, energetic, twitching and frothing at the mouth with lust and vigour. His almost gymnastic feats in the film’s finale are a thing of wonder. As Hyde once taunts Ivy: ” I’ll show you what horror means!”

Daz Lawrence, Horrorpedia

Dead Sea is a 2014 American horror film written and directed by Brandon Slagle (who also stars). It also features Britt Griffith (Syfy’s Ghosthunters, Ghosthunters International), James Jw Wiseman, Devanny Pinn (The Black Dahlia Haunting, Truth or Dare), James Duval (Donnie Darko), Alexis Iacono (The Penny Dreadful Picture Show), Tawny Amber Young, Chanel Ryan, Candace Kita, K.J. McCormick (Syfy’s Ghosthunters) and Frederic Doss.

The film is set to release on DVD/Blu-ray late Spring 2014.

Synopsis:

‘This globe-spanning story follows a marine biologist who is thrust into the violent paranoia surrounding a town preparing for the return of an impending sacrifice to a legendary serpentine creature, in this case being a giant lamprey, said to have surfaced from Hell during an earthquake.’

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Beneath is a 2013 American horror film directed by Larry Fessenden. The film had its world premiere at the Stanley Film Festival on May 3, 2013 and later aired on the Chiller channel. Beneath stars Daniel Zovatto, Bonnie Dennison, and Chris Conroy as teenagers that must fight for their lives against man-eating fish.

Six high school seniors celebrating with day’s excursion find themselves on rowboat attacked by man-eating fish and must decide who must be sacrificed as they fight their way back to shore…

Buy Beneath on Blu-ray from Amazon.com

“Beneath has its tone meter calibrated a little too far into serious territory when it would have benefited from a slier wink of black comedy.  The film is only as good as it needs to be for a rubber water monster movie on Chiller TV, when clearly the actors and the production are better than the script that they have to work with.” Culture Crypt

“Beneath is just a mess of a film, and whether or not you find it entertaining is dependent entirely on your ability to find humor in the failings of others. Am I being too harsh? Maybe. But the primary antagonist is a giant wall-eyed tigerfish so take from that what you will.” Dread Central

Wikipedia | IMDb

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Chewits is the brand name of a British chewy, cuboid-shaped, soft taffy sweet manufactured by Cloetta since 1965. Chewits have been available in a variety of increasingly exotic flavours since their inception.

Chewits were first advertised on television in 1976. The original ads featured the ‘Monster Muncher’, a Godzilla-resembling mascot on the hunt for something chewy to eat. The first ad featuring the Muncher threatening New York was made by French Gold Abbott and created by John Clive and Ian Whapshot.

From then on the ‘Monster Muncher’ chomped and trampled  local and well-known international landmarks such as Barrow-in-Furness Bus Depot, a London block of flats, London Bridge, the Taj Mahal, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and the Empire State Building. The ‘Monster Muncher’ could only be quelled by a pack of Chewits. The original adverts used claymation special effects, similar in style to those made famous in the movies of Ray Harryhausen. They also included a voiceover style reminiscent of a 1950s radio serial.

A subsequent advertisement, originally aired in 1995, plays on the over-the-top advertising style of the post-war era. To the tune of bright 1950s era orchestration, a salesy narrator exhorts viewers to try a variety of chewy consumer items in the essential guide to a chewier chew. The ad shows the ‘Monster Muncher’ sampling items such as Wellington boots, a rubber boat and a rubber plant in order to be ready for the chewiest of chews – Chewits.

In the late 1990s, Chewits experimented with ads showing multiple news casting dinosaur puppets. The catchphrase advice at the close of each ‘broadcast’ was to “do it before you chew it”.

With a change of ad agencies, the puppets were replaced by colourful 2D animations. The ‘Monster Muncher’ was re-introduced as ‘Chewie’ in two popular adverts from this time. In the first, which aired in 2000, Chewie roller skates on two buses through a busy city scene. The second shows Chewie waterskiing at a popular seaside resort.

In 2003, a new ad was aired showing a wide range of animals auditioning to be the new face of Chewits. The ad announced the return of the iconic dinosaur Chewie mascot, now dubbed ‘Chewie the Chewitsaurus’.

In 2009, the new Chewie the Chewitsaurus look, showing a contemporary, computer-game-style slick design, was introduced. It seems fair to observe that the Monster Muncher’s metamorphosis from the 1970s to the 21st century has not been a positive one.

A spin-off computer game, The Muncher, was released for the ZX Spectrum in 1988.

Wikipedia

Some animals are guaranteed to inspire feelings of disgust and fear in cinema audiences, and not more so than the humble rat. While many people keep rats as pets, even they will see a difference between their domesticated companions and the sewer-dwelling, disease carrying vermin that we are continually told that none of us are ever more than six feet from (an urban myth perhaps, but with a certain basis in facts – there are a LOT of rats in the world). Collective memories of the black death, horror stories about rats climbing out of toilet bowls or being found in babies cribs and the mere possibility of waking up to find a rat siting on your bed, possibly eating your face (and yes, it’s happened!) ensure that rats will never be seen as cuddly by the majority. And with news stories about oversized ‘super rats’ or claims that they are becoming resistant to poisons, it’s not hard to see why rats make many people shudder. There is nothing we can do to stop their rise, it seems, and if filmmakers are to be believed, even a nuclear holocaust won’t slow them down.

Rats have long been used by filmmakers as shorthand for disgust, decay and dirt. Think of how many times you’d seen someone exploring an old building, a gothic castle or a disused warehouse in a horror film where the sense of creepiness is emphasised by scuttling rodents. Rats have also been the food for mutated throwbacks and subhuman monsters, to show how depraved they are – having your character snatch up a rat and start munching on it is sure to repulse the audience.

In George Orwell’s novel 1984, protagonist Winston Smith is driven to breaking point when confronted with his worst fear – rats – in Room 101. This was memorably shown in the controversial BBC TV version of the story broadcast live in 1954, with Peter Cushing suitably terrified as a ‘rat helmet’ is placed on his head. Viewers were thrilled and appalled in equal measure. This showed the power that rats had to terrify not only Smith, but viewers in general. But oddly, it wasn’t until the 1970s that rats became the central figures in horror movies.

The most famous and successful rat movie was Willard, made in 1971. The film follows social misfit Willard (Ben Davison), who develops a strange relationship with the rats that surround the old, dilapidated house he lives in with his mother. After the old woman dies, this odd relationship increases, as a large number of rats begin living in the house and he develops a close bond with two unusually smart one – Socrates (who is, rather impossibly, white) and Ben. He soon starts using the rats to take revenge on those who have made his life a misery, namely his exploitative boss Mr Martin (Martin Borgnine). But when Martin is torn apart by the rats in revenge for him killing Socrates, Willard is snapped back into reality and decides he must get rid of the rats – but by this time, it’s too late.

An intriguing and effective psychological horror film, Willard was a surprise box office hit and would inspire imitators like Stanley (where snakes too the place of rats) as well as spawning a sequel, Ben.

Ben, made in 1972, sees the titular character – who is considerably smarter than the average rat – leading an army of rodents after escaping the purge on the household after the events of Willard. While the scenes of rat attacks and vast colonies of the creatures in sewers ramp up the horror of the first film, the movie hedges its bets by also introducing a maudlin story where Ben is adopted by a sickly child. This rather schizophrenic storyline ensured that the film would be less successful than Willard, and allowed for the inclusion of the teeth-grindingly sentimental title song, performed by Michael Jackson – possibly the only love song to a rat that has ever troubled the pop charts.

The popularity of Willard didn’t see a massive explosion of rat cinema – most imitators copied the story but used other animals – but the ever opportunist and eccentric Andy Milligan tried to ride the wave with The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! in 1972. This film had started life in 1969 as one of Milligan’s UK-shot low budget period horror films, this time about a family of werewolves, but had sat on the shelf of infamous producer William Mishkin until 1972, when the director was instructed to add around 20 minutes of rat footage to the film in order to cash in on Willard and Ben. The resulting film is as weird as you might expect. Milligan has seen a degree of critical reassessment over the last few years, and it’s true that much of his work is less ‘bad’ as it is bizarre. The unique Milligan style is on full display in this film.

Also possibly showing some influence from Willard at this time was The Pied Piper, a British version of the famous fairy story made in 1972 by French director Jacques Demy. This is a darker tale than you might expect. Set at the time of the Black Death and with English folkie Donovan as the Piper, it mixes in corruption, revenge, anti-semitism in a film that is often an uneasy mix of children’s fantasy and adult drama. Towards the conclusion of the film, the piper takes his revenge on the corrupt townsfolk by unleashing the rats he has promised to rid them of, resulting in amazing and unsettling scenes of rodent rampage – at one point they even burst out of a wedding cake! It’s a curious, unique film that is sadly rarely seen today, possibly because of the strange mix of styles it contains.

If regular sized rats are scary, then imagine how much worse giants rats would be! That, I assume, was the thinking of legendary B-movie maestro Bert I Gordon, when he embarked on a ‘loose’ (to put it kindly) adaptation of H.G. Wells’ The Food of the Gods in 1976. Mr BIG had long had a fixation on oversized creatures – his earlier films include The Amazing Colossal Man, War of the Colossal Beast, Earth vs The Spider and Village of the Giants, and he would follow this film with Empire of the Ants. In The Food of the Gods, a couple discover a mysterious and miraculous food stuff, resembling porridge, bubbling out the ground and start to feed it to their chickens, as you do. This causes massive growth in the birds. But unfortunately, the local rats, wasps and worms have also developed a taste for the stuff, and soon a small band of survivors are being terrorised by the giant rodents (the wasps and worms only play a minor role in the proceedings).

This is a surprisingly slow moving and unsurprisingly inept effort, with shoddy special effects, but it proved to be an unexpected box office hit. In 1989, a sequel was made – Food of the Gods 2 (aka Gnaw) had no connection to the earlier film, this time telling the unlikely story of a scientist who grows giant rats while trying to find a cure for baldness! These giant rats are released by animal rights activists and cause the expected amount of chaos in a film that is notable only for making the original Food of the Gods look like art. H.G. Wells was presumably spinning in his grave.

The same year, Yugoslavian satire The Rat Saviour sees a writer discover that rats are learning how to imitate and ultimate replace humans. Much like Ionesco’s Rhinoceros, the film is a comment on the loss of humanity and a biting criticism of the socialist state.

Also in 1976, British TV series The New Avengers took a rare step into the fantasy world with the episode Gnaws. While the 1960s series The Avengers was often fantastical, this 1970s spin-off tended to be more ‘realistic’ and was more concerned with espionage than science fiction on the whole. But there were exceptions, and Gnaws was the most obvious, with Steed, Purdy and Gambit chasing a giant rat through the London sewers!

Showing alongside The New Avengers on TV in 1976 was Beasts, a horror anthology by Nigel Kneale, which included the episode During Barty’s Party. In this two hander, a middle aged couple find themselves besieged by ‘super rats’ (the titular radio show fills in what is happening in the outside world). We never see the rats in this story, the horror being effectively conveyed by sound effects and the growing panic of the couple.

The 1922 Nosferatu had featured scenes of rat filled coffins that added to the general creepiness of the film (and similarly, 1931′s Dracula added rats to the creatures infesting the Count’s castle), but Werner Herzog’s 1979 remake emphasised the rat infestation much more, showing Dracula as, quite literally, the plague – the rats he brings with him spread disease just as much as the vampire does.

In 1974, James Herbert’s novel The Rats had become a huge success in the UK, spawning a whole ‘animal attack’ sub genre and eventually leading to several sequels. This graphic and lurid novel about giant rats seemed ripe for filming, and in 1982, it was shot by Enter the Dragon director Robert Clouse for Hong Kong’s Golden Harvest. Relocating the action to Canada, the film was decidedly less outrageous than Herbert’s novel, and proved to be a pretty ineffectual and slow moving affair. Things were not helped by the low budget, which didn’t allow for decent rat effects – notoriously, the giant rats were played by dachshunds in rat suits, which fooled nobody. In Britain, the film was released on video as The Rats, but elsewhere – where Herbert’s novel was less well known – it went out as Deadly Eyes, which probably didn’t help much.

Curiously, it wasn’t the only canadian rat film of the time, as 1983′s Of Unknown Origin also features rampaging rodents, though this time on a more domestic scale, as Peter Weller find himself becoming increasingly obsessed with catching a rat that is in his house, even if it means destroying the house in the process. As much an allegorical tale as anything (Weller’s character is literally caught in a rat race), the film is worth seeking out. For a more comedic version of the same story, check out the 1997 film Mouse Hunt.

Director Bruno Mattei had featured a scene involving a zombie rat in his entertainingly trashy Zombie Creeping Flesh in 1982, and a couple of years later expanded on the idea in Rats: Night of Terror, a post-apocalyptic tale where survivors of the nuclear holocaust stumble upon a village full of food and water. Unfortunately, it’s also full of mutant rats… deliriously trashy and gory, it’s no surprise that the film has built up quite a cult following over the years.

In 1986, the spectacularly tasteless Ratman emerged from Italy, courtesy of director. Starring primordial dwarf Nelson de la Rosa, this was the story of a homicidal rat/monkey hybrid creating by a mad scientist in the Caribbean, for reasons that are never made clear. Italian exploitation veterans David Warbeck and Janet Agren turn up in this exploitative effort.

Stephen King’s short story Graveyard Shift was filmed in 1990. The film takes place during the night shift clean up of an abandoned mill that has just reopened, where the workers find themselves attacked by rats… and something much worse. The film invariably pads King’s original story out with ‘personality conflicts’ that add little to the story – you would be better served sticking to the prose.

1991′s The Demon Rat is set in the near future, when environmental pollution has reached new levels and toxic chemicals have created mutant animals, including a giant man-rat! This Spanish film mixes science fiction and satire in a fairly effective manner.

In 1995, Bram Stoker’s short story Burial of the Rats was adapted – if that is the word – by producer Roger Corman. As the plot involves a young Bram Stoker being captured by scantily clad female warriors who use hungry rats to punish evil men, it should go without saying that any connection to the original short story begins and ends with the title. It should not be confused with the 2007 Japanese film of the same name, which has no connection to Stoker or rodent rampages.

Altered Species, made in 2001, sees rats attacking partygoers after the scientist host pours his new formula down the sink. For some reason, one of the rats has mutated into a giant.

2002′s The Rats has no connection to James Herbert, but instead has a department store infested by mutant rats – clearly, regular rats were no longer cutting it as horror creatures by this time. A year later saw the release of the similarly titled Rats, which takes place in a multi-purpose institution that houses both rich drug addicts and the criminally insane. It also turns out to be home to an army of super-intelligent giant rats, the result of past medical experiments of Dr Winslow (Ron Perlman).

2001 German movie Ratten: Sie Werden Dich Kriege (also known as Revenge of the Rats) sees an army of rats brought out onto the streets during a garbage collectors strike. To make things worse, these rats are carrying a deadly virus! Jörg Lühdorff’s film was popular enough to spawn a 2004 sequel, Ratten 2 – Sie Kommen Wieder!

2002′s Nezulla is a Japanese film in which a half rat, half human monster that has been created by American scientists goes on the rampage in Tokyo. Inevitably, the film is let down by its shot-on-video visuals, but might appeal to fans of Eighties monster movies.

Willard was remade in 2003, with Crispin Glover in the title role. Directed by Glen Morgan, the film sticks pretty much to the story of the original film, and is quite effective in its own right, but failed to connect with audiences.

2006 film Mulberry Street sees an infection turning people into mutant rat creatures. Closer to the zombie genre than usual rat movies (the film was retitled Zombie Virus on Mulberry Street for UK release), this is one of the better recent films in that overdone genre.

Most recently, 2011′s Rat Scratch Fever sees giant mutant space rats, who have stowed away on a spacehip and are now  terrorising Los Angeles. Cheap, trashy and unashamed, the film is likely to appeal to anyone who enjoys watching low rent giant monster movies on SyFy.

The days of the serious rat horror film would seem to be over for now, which is a pity – there is still a lot of potential in the genre I would think. Perhaps one day, an enterprising filmmaker will once again remember that rats are both omnipresent and terrifying for many, and exploit that to its full potential…

Article by David Flint

Scintilla is a 2014 British science fiction horror film produced by Liquid Noise Films and directed by Billy O’Brien (Isolation, Ferocious Planet) from a screenplay co-written with Rob Green, G.P. Taylor, Josh Golga, Steve Clark. It stars John Lynch (Isolation, Night Wolf/13Hrs), Craig Conway, Antonia Thomas, Jumayan Hunter, Morjana Alaoui and Beth Winslet. Mongrel Media will distribute in the US whilst Metrodome has secured UK.

An elite team of mercenaries are chosen to carry out a covert operation deep in a former Soviet State. They must first battle the ferocious armed militia at ground level before descending through a maze of tunnels inhabited by dark, menacing creatures. When the team arrives at an underground laboratory they discover the purpose of their mission: A genius scientist has been genetically splicing alien DNA with human and the results of this revolutionary work must be secured. The soldiers must protect and save the specimens whilst avoiding the threats of multiple predators, both human and otherwise…

IMDb

Piranha Sharks (formerly Piranha Great White Sharks) is a 2014 American comedy horror film produced by Mark Burman for Red Sea Media. It has been written and directed by Leigh Scott. The film stars Collin Galyean, Josh Hammond, John Wells, Noel Thurman, Kristina Page, Brandon Stacy, Jessica Sonneborn, Benjamin Kanes, Barry Ratcliffe, Frederic Doss, Ashe Parker, Ramona Mallory, Martin Ewens and GinaMarie Zimmerman.

Or watch in better quality on Vimeo.com:

Great white sharks bio-engineered to be the size of piranhas with the purpose of living in rich peoples exotic aquariums, terrorise New York City when they get into the water supply and do what great white sharks do best…

Piranhas on Horrorpedia

Related: 2-Headed Shark Attack | Great White | Jaws | Jaws 2 | Jersey Shore Shark Attack | Jurassic Shark | Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus | Psycho Shark | Sand Sharks |Shark Attack 3: Megalodon | The Shark is Still Working |Shark Week | Sharktopus | Snow Shark | Super Shark | Swamp Shark | Zombie Shark

Special effects test footage:

IMDb | Thanks to TarsTarkas.net for one of the images above.

Zombeavers is a 2013 American sex comedy horror film co-written (with Al and Jon Kaplan) and directed by Jordan Rubin. It stars Bill Burr, Cortney Palm, Rachel Melvin, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Rex Linn, Brent Briscoe, Robert R. Shafer, Peter Gilroy, Lexi Atkins, Phyllis Katz and Chad Anderson.

A group of college kids staying at a riverside cabin are menaced by a horde of deadly zombie beavers. A planned weekend of sex and debauchery soon turns gruesome as the beavers close in on the terrified teens who must fight to save their lives…

‘Horny co-eds, severed feet, the great outdoors, and undead beavers chomping their way toward crotch, Zombeavers is more than just a simple film. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will inspire great interest in mother nature, and it just might teach you something about love. For instance, in one scene a man says, “I’ve never seen a beaver up close.” His girlfriend responds, “You should try going down on me once in a while.” See? Life lessons.’ Lacy Donohue, Defamer at Gawker.com

IMDb

The Ten O’Clock People is an upcoming 2015 American horror film directed by Tom Holland (Child’s Play, Fright Night) from a screenplay by E. J. Meyers, based upon a Stephen King short story (from Nightmares and Dreamscapes). This is Tom Holland’s third time working with King material, the first two being on The Langoliers and Thinner. Rachel Nichols (pictured) and Jay Baruchel have been announced as the stars and filming is set to begin in June in Montreal, Canada.

Ex-smoker Brandon Pearson thinks he’s finally kicked the habit when he discovers smoking cessation drug Zynex. But when he succumbs to his cravings and tosses the drug, he uncovers a frightening world full of perilous creatures few but he can see.

Dracula 2012 is an Indian Malayalam 3-D horror film directed by Vinayan, starring Sudheer Sukumaran, Prabhu, Monal Gajjar, Nassar, Shraddha Das and Thilakan. Portions of the film were shot in Bran Castle in Romania. It was released on 8 February 2013. The film was also released in Tamil as Naangam Pirai and in Telugu as Punnami Ratri with additional scenes and songs featuring Tamil and Telugu actors.

Reviews:

“To be be fair to the Count, Sudhir Sukumaran does look impressive with a nicely toned torso and the gelled hair adding to his countenance. The growls and the snarls could be worked upon of course, and so can the facial expressions which have mostly been limited to menacing grimaces. The ladies serve as eye candy, as they are expected to be. Technically, the 3D effects are quite notable, with drinks, arrows and what not thrown at your face. The shrubs and twigs that brush against your face initially are appealing, but they irk you in no time.” Now Running

“Now, it’s a daunting task to understand what was the director trying to say here. It’s not even scary and this Dracula looks more like a joker, with his funny lines and mannerisms. There is nothing like even a remotely decent storyline or a script here. The dialogues are trite, the performances are atrocious and the whole film is unintentionally comical.” Sify.com

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Making of:

Song – ‘Prince of Darkness’:

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King Kong Escapes, (released in Japan as King Kong’s Counterattack (キングコングの逆襲 Kingu Kongu no Gyakushū), is a 1967 Kaiju film. A Japanese/American co-production from Toho and Rankin-Bass (Mad Monster Party). Directed by Ishiro Honda and featuring special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya, the film starred both American actors – such as Rhodes Reason and Linda Miller – alongside Japanese actors – such as Akira Takarada, Mie Hama and Eisei Amamoto. The film was a loose adaptation of the Rankin-Bass Saturday morning cartoon series The King Kong Show and was the second and final Japanese-made film featuring the King Kong character.

Plot:

An evil genius named Dr. Hu creates Mechani-Kong, a robotic version of King Kong, to dig for a highly radioactive Element X, found only at the North Pole. Mechni-Kong enters an ice cave and begins to dig into a glacier, but the radiation destroys its brain circuits and the robot shuts down. Hu then sets his sights on getting the real Kong to finish the job. Hu is taken to task by a beautiful female overseer, Madame Piranha. Her country’s government (which is not named but may be North Korea) is financing the doctor’s schemes, and she frequently berates him for his failure to get results. Meanwhile, a submarine commanded by Carl Nelson arrives at Mondo Island where the legendary King Kong lives. Much like the original 1933 film, the giant ape gets into an intense fight with a dinosaur, a large serpent, and falls in love with a human. In this case, Lt. Susan Watson (Linda Miller).

Dr. Hu subsequently goes to Mondo Island, abducts Kong and brings him back to his base at the North Pole. Kong is hypnotized by a flashing light device and fitted with a radio earpiece. Hu commands Kong to retrieve the Element X from the cave. Problems with the earpiece ensue and Hu has to kidnap Susan Watson, the only person who can control Kong. After Watson and her fellow officers are captured by Hu, Madame Piranha unsuccessfully tries to seduce Nelson to bring him over to her side. Eventually Kong escapes and swims all the way to Japan where the climactic battle with Mechni-Kong transpires. Standing in for the Empire State Building from the original film is the Tokyo Tower where the two giants face off in the finale…

Buy King Kong Escapes on Blu-ray from Amazon.com

Reviews:

“The Japanese…are all thumbs when it comes to making monster movies like ‘King Kong Escapes.’ The Toho moviemakers are quite good in building miniature sets, but much of the process photography—matching the miniatures with the full-scale shots—is just bad…the plotting is hopelessly primitive…” Vincent Canby, New York Times, 1968

“It’s difficult to assign a single genre to “King Kong Escapes.” On the one hand, it has all the hallmarks of a kaiju film, with two giant beasts wreaking havoc in the heart of Tokyo. On the other, it adds to the mix elements of science fiction, adventure, and even James Bond spy films. It’s a formula that Toho used successfully in such films as “Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster,” but here the resulting tone often feels uneven. Yet as gloriously mad as it is, “King Kong Escapes” is a thoroughbred descendant of the “King Kong” movie legacy with all the proper provenance. It may be a little out there for purists, but if you’ve got a monkey on your back for all things Kong, it’s absolutely essential.” Ed Glaser, Neon Harbor

“Toho fans, monster kids and generally anyone with a playfully less serious side to their cinema watching will get a kick out of this fun Kong adventure. The Japanese version is essential for Kaiju fanatics, but for most, the dubbed edition works just fine.” Cool Ass Cinema

Wikipedia | IMDb

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El Retorno del Hombre Lobo (Return of the Wolfman) is a 1981 Spanish horror film that is the ninth in a long series about the werewolf Count Waldemar Daninsky, played by Paul Naschy. It was briefly released theatrically in the US in 1985 by The Film Concept Group as The Craving, and more recently on DVD and Blu-ray as Night of the Werewolf.

In an outdoor trial in the 16th Century, Elizabeth Bathory and a number of witches are being sentenced – Bathory to spend her remaining days entombed, most of her followers beheaded or hanged. The brawn of her operation, Waldemar Daninsky, the celebrated nobleman-lycanthrope, is sentenced to be left in a state of living death, with a silver dagger through his heart and an iron mask (the mask of shame, no less) to keep him from biting. Centuries later, the dagger is removed by grave-robbers and Daninsky returns to activity, fighting against a revived Elizabeth Bathory and her demonic manservant, courtesy of some attractive modern-day witchery.

Outside of Italian gialli, there is little more confusing a purchase than a Naschy film – it is an essential rite of passage as a serious fan of horror films that at some point you may mistakenly end up with two copies of this under differing titles in error. Fortunately, it’s a cracker, not only the crystalisation of everything Naschy had attempted up to this point but also one of the peaks of Spanish horror. Paul Naschy had been successful enough by this stage that he was afforded a budget that matched his ambition – wobbly sets were replaced by actual castle ruins and sumptuous gothic decoration, the scope of the film covering vampires, werewolves and that old Spanish stand-by, the skeletal Knights Templar.

The cast sees Naschy regular Julia Saly (Panic Beats, Night of the Seagulls) as Bathory, pale-faced and clearly relishing the role, without ever attempting to overshadow Naschy. Naschy seems positively weepy, surrounded as he is in fog, thrilling coloured lighting and decked out in ancient finery. The other three main female characters, played by Pilar Alcón, Silvia Aguilar and Azucena Hernández had varied careers in Spanish genre cinema, all of them supplementing their incomes with ‘daring’ magazine photo-shoots – although nudity is scarce in the film, the three of them continually seem on the cusp of disrobing.

The pace is particularly brisk for a Naschy film, perhaps aided by him taking the director’s chair himself, instead of his usual muse, León Klimovsky. That said, the film makes little sense in the chronology of Daninsky werewolf films (this being the ninth of twelve), neither does the lenient sentence given to Bathory at the beginning of the film, nor her loyal servant suddenly being Hell-bent on revenge. No matter, the characters are interesting and straight-faced enough to carry what is lower rank Hammer fodder in theory.

Alas, 1981 was not the right time to suddenly nail your Gothic fetishes – horror cinema had long abandoned candle-lit castles and fangy nymphs and the box office was most unforgiving, leaving Naschy to film several films in Japan to try to rebuild not only his reputation but his finances. Time still doesn’t really seem to have caught up with Naschy, his films still polarising opinion amongst genre fans and almost completely ignored by the mainstream both in terms of interest and influence.

The soundtrack, though perfectly suited, is an outrageous plagiarism of both Ennio Morricone (the wailing harmonica of Once Upon a Time in the West) and Stelvio Cipriani (What Have They Done to Your Daughters? – in fairness, regularly reused by himself on the likes of Tentacles). The stunning cinematography is courtesy of Alejandro Ulloa, who also shot the likes of Horror Express, Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion and The House by the Edge of the Lake. The special effects largely stay away from the time-lapse transformation from human to beast and the film doesn’t suffer in the slightest – Naschy’s writhing at the sight of the moon being entertaining enough. Naschy remained proud of the film up to his death in 2009 and rightly so.

Daz Lawrence

Night of the Living Carrots is a 2011 Halloween short animated film, based on Monsters vs. Aliens and produced by DreamWorks Animation. Following the 2009 short, Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space, a mutated carrot has spawned hundreds of zombie carrots taking control of the subject’s mind. Dr. Cockroach determines that the only way to defeat them and free their victims is for B.O.B. to eat all of the carrots.

The short premiered in two parts exclusively on Nintendo 3DS. It was released to a general audience on August 28, 2012, as a part of Shrek’s Thrilling Tales DVD and DreamWorks Spooky Stories Blu-ray.

Plot:

In a theater, B.O.B. introduces the story in a manner similar to many horror films. He recalls the events of Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space, saying “it all started with a spooky spaceship, mutant pumpkins and monsters saving the day. But that was only the beginning.”

The scene then shifts to the twist ending of the previous special. The Zombie Carrot emerges and charges at the camera but is stopped short by a gate. Carl Murphy announces to the children of the Modesto suburbs that a costume contest was about to start and that the winner got their weight in candy. B.O.B., dressed as a pirate, takes interest and comes inside but takes all the candy meant for the contest. Outside, he hears a strange voice and is initially frightened by the zombie carrot, but he mistakes it for a child in a costume. Believing the carrot would win the costume contest, he throws it inside where it immediately bites Carl, turning him into a zombie.

All the guests flee the Murphy house and not long after, the carrot is blasted by Dr. Cockroach’s scanner. Doc theorizes that the carrot was contaminated by the mutant pumpkins and that the curse could only be lifted by eliminating the infected carrot. However, the remains of the carrot replicate themselves into more zombie carrots. Before long, all three monsters are completely surrounded…

Wikipedia | IMDb

Dracano is a 2013 American monster film directed by Kevin O’Neil and starring Gina Holden, Corin Nemec and Troy Evans.

A catastrophic volcanic eruption releases ancient dragon-like creatures on the surrounding areas. Scientists believe this could start a chain reaction of volcanic eruptions giving way to a global Dragon Apocalypse….

“Since the SyFy Channel has seriously scaled back their original movie docket, crap movies like Dracano just don’t have a real home anymore. Now we have to the find them, as opposed to them finding us. This doesn’t please me. Who really wants to look for this stuff? I’ll do it, because I have a sickness, but I liked it better when these crap movies came on TV for free.” Film Critics United

“Wild science, dragons, gruff military personnel, probing news media, not a bad way to spend 90 minutes. The action in Dracano moves along at a decent clip, and the acting is decent. I recommend Dracano, a 7 out of 10.” Dan’s Movie Report

IMDb

WH

Parasite is a 1982 science fiction horror film produced and directed by Charles Band and starring Demi Moore in her first major film role. Irwin Yablans (Halloween) was the executive producer.

In the near future, an atomic disaster has reduced the world to poverty. Instead of a government, America is run by an organization called the Merchants, who exploit the degenerate remains of society. In order to keep control of the populace, the Merchants force Dr. Paul Dean (Robert Glaudini) to create a new life form, a parasite that feeds on its host. Realizing the deadly potential of such a being, Dean escapes the Merchants with the parasite, infecting himself in the process. Now on the run, he travels from town to town, studying the parasite so that he can find a way to destroy it, all the while keeping one step ahead of a Merchant named Wolf (James Davidson) who is hunting for him. While resting in a desert town, he is attacked by a gang of hooligans (Cherie Currie, Freddy Moore, Natalie May, Joanelle Romero, Tom Villard) led by Ricus (Luca Bercovici), a former slave of the Merchants. The gang steals silver canister containing the parasite, not realizing what it is, and it escapes and infects one of the members….

Buy Parasite on DVD from Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“This will surely have appeal for those who have fond memories of parasites jumping out at you from the silver screen, but thirty years on and on the TV, it doesn’t translate quite so well. In fact, it translates terribly. This is a charmless rip-off, almost totally devoid of merit. Explore the many better examples of the sub-genre out there.” Digital Retribution

“The absolute stand out feature of Parasite is the FX.  Stan Winston did all the work, which will definitely bring a smile to a genre fan’s face.  The parasite itself resembles “the deadly spawn” which is definitely not a bad thing, and looks freaking awesome.  The gore, while not plentiful, is enough to keep gore-hounds content, and comes often enough.  It’s really crazy to see what they were able to do with the practical FX in 1982 and on a fairly low budget.” Cinema Slasher

“Look, I really like cheeseball horror movies. But the golden rule of “dummy movies” is quite simply this: Don’t bore me! (Actually, that’s the ONLY rule!) If you added up all the potentially entertaining ‘horror bits’ from the first 73 minutes of this movie, you’d have the cinematic equivalent of a postage stamp. (The three-cent kind.) I’ll never knock a movie for being stupid or derivative or unoriginal as long as it’s simply fun to sit through. Nothing in Parasite even comes close. The brief gore splatters occur way too late in the game for anyone to care, and the creature (early work by FX genius Stan Winston nonetheless) is about as horrifying as Miss Piggy covered in barbecue sauce.” eFilmCritc

Wikipedia | IMDb

WH

Bigfoot is a 1969 (released 1970) American horror film. Despite its low budget, it featured some well-known actors and family namesakes in the cast, including John Carradine as “Jasper C. Hawkes”, a Southern traveling salesman. Robert F. Slatzer directed and co-wrote the screenplay with James Gordon White (The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant and The Thing with Two Heads). Chris Mitchum, Joi Lansing, Doodles Weaver and Lindsay Crosby co-starred.

Plot:

People are captured by Bigfoot and his family. A group of hunters are trying to hunt down Bigfoot, bumbling at first, but in terms of rescuing the captured women, and capturing the gigantic ‘King of the Woods’ alive for public exhibition for profit victorious (with the help of others) in the end. It also involves college students riding motorcycles  to rescue the captured young women.

In the middle of the film, the skeptical sheriff’s department and the ranger’s station are notified of the women’s disappearance, but to no avail on the part of the authorities with respect to actually searching for the missing women. The unlikely heroes in the very end are a hardy, gun-toting old mountain man who had previously lost one of his arms during a historical encounter (this encounter is not dramatized in this film as a flashback) with the gigantic, erect animal and one of the idiotic dynamite-armed bike riders. The old man hero’s wife, an Indian squaw, prophesies “bad medicine” (for Bigfoot, that is) just before the final man-vs.-Bigfoot showdown…

Reviews:

“Bigfoot is a truly awful movie, combining a doofus storyline with shoddy production values and terrible acting, but it’s arresting in a fever-dream sort of way. Carradine’s supposed to be a formidable big-game hunter, but he’s an arthritic, emaciated senior dressed in a suit and tie. Christopher Mitchum, the son of screen legend Robert Mitchum, is supposed to be a tough-guy biker, but he’s a passive nebbish who politely refers to Carradine’s character as “Mr. Hawks.” Jordan and Lansing are so outrageously curvy—and so nonsensically underdressed—that their scenes feel as if they were guest-directed by Russ Meyer. The movie toggles back and forth between second-unit location shots showing actors full-figure from a distance and cheesy soundstage footage with the principal cast in close-up, so it’s like the flick drifts in and out of reality. Bigfoot creatures get more screen time here than in virtually any other ‘70s Sasquatch movie, which is not a good thing—prolonged exposure highlights the bad costumes. And we haven’t even talked about the upbeat honky-tonk music that plays during suspense scenes, or the incongruous surf-music cue that appears whenever the bikers are shown driving. Oh, and at one point, a lady Bigfoot wrestles a bear.” Peter Hanson, Every 70s Movie

“Screw the Mona Lisa, the poster for 1970s Bigfoot is a true artistic masterpiece. The movie is pretty wonderful too. Noticing the public’s fascination with Bigfoot that was kicked off by the Patterson/Gimlin film and the biker craze that ensued following the release of Easy Rider, writer/director Robert F. Slatzer had the idea to incorporate both elements into a film. It was an inspired “you got chocolate in my peanut butter/peanut butter in my chocolate” decision that resulted in cinematic brilliance.” Rob Bricken, Topless Robot

“Bigfoot, a certifiable mess with the most unconvincing sets this side of Gilligan’s Island, at least knows how to have a little fun. Bikinis, funky music and motorcycles go a long way in hypnotizing the viewer into ignoring small details like the fact that you have to actually light dynamite to make it explode. John Carradine and, count ‘em, two Mitchums (John and Christopher) are on hand to ease some of the pain, but me thinks the film makers were relying mostly on the voluptuous talents of Joi Lansing to carry the audience through the film. I have to admit there is dopey fun to be had in this showdown for species dominance, but as usual I think I was routing for the wrong team’s victory. One thing is undebatable, the sasquatch were not the most alarming inhabits of this film.” Kindertrauma

Wikipedia | IMDb

Megafoot is an American 2014 science fiction horror film currently in development by scriptwriter and director Rolfe Kanefsky (There’s Nothing Out There, The Hazing, Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Sexy Bite) based on an original idea and story by Justin Martell (producer of Troma’s Return to Nuke ‘Em High: Volumes 1 & 2). The filmmakers are currently trying to raise $35,000 production costs via online investor site IndieGoGo.

Press release: 

A highly classified experiment accidentally unleashes a top secret killing machine known as megafoot. Part Cyborg, Part Bigfoot. All Terror. And now it’s up to an elite squad of soldiers to track down the beast and kill it before it destroys everyone and everything in its path. A married couple, a group of college students, the scientists who know the truth, and some not-too friendly locals are about to confront their worst nightmare in this action-packed, horror thriller, gore-ride that’s bigger than big – It’s megafoot.

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Cruel Jaws, also known as Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws and The Beast is a 1995 Italian mockbuster originally title Fauci crudeli, based on the 1975 blockbuster Jaws and its sequels. It was directed by infamous schlock filmmaker Bruno Mattei (Rats: Night of Terror, Zombies: The Beginning). The film stars David Luther, George Barnes, Jr., Scott Silveria, Kirsten Urso, Richard Dew and Sky Palma.

It’s hard to know where to start with such a shameless and inane film. Cruel Jaws is far, far beyond your average rip-off. The story is essentially Jaws with smatterings of Jaws 2 and Jaws 3-D thrown in. Scenes from the Spielberg classic are recreated verbatim, and dialogue is directly lifted.

Explaining the plot of Cruel Jaws is almost pointless if you’ve seen Jaws. But the twists on the original tale are rather hysterical, such as the inclusion of Dag, essentially the film’s Quint. Dag Snerensen (Richard Dew) bears a striking resemblance to Hulk Hogan. His name “Dag” also mustered a lot of confusion as I thought characters were referring to him as “Dad”. Anyway, Dag owns a shoddy version of Sea World (their attractions consist of two dolphins and a seal). He’s in trouble because he owes his bullying landlord, Samuel Lewis (George Barnes Jr.), “fifteen years rent”. This is a problem because Dag has a young daughter whose legs don’t work and who apparently has no reason to live other than swimming with dolphins.

But all this is completely irrelevant. While this pathetic little soap opera is playing out, a giant tiger shark is chowing down on the locals! (The tiger shark, by the way, is not actually a tiger shark. Practically all the stock footage thrown on the screen features great white sharks.) Luckily, Billy (Gregg Hood), the film’s lame reincarnation of Richard Dreyfuss’s Hooper, happens to be back in town ready to help Sheriff Francis (David Luther) in his hunt for the shark. For a marine biologist, Billy really hates sharks referring to them as “sort of locomotive with a mouth full of butcher’s knives”.

Sheriff Francis and Billy try to get the beach shut down, but, with an attitude strangely reminiscent of the another shark-plagued town’s mayor, Mayor Godfrey (Kevin Dean) and aforementioned rich bully Sam scoff at the shark claims. It’s tourist season! There’s a big windsurfing event coming up! How could they possibly close the beaches?! It’s all very familiar and only moments featuring Dag, the Hogan lookalike, remind us we’re not watching Jaws… for example, this touching scene where Dag puts his daughter to sleep with an impressive use of hypnotism…

t’s hard to pick the worst actor from the cast. They’re all so phenomenally bad. The villainous George Barnes Jr. stumbles through his lines with wide-eyed determination. Richard Dew may look like Hulk Hogan, but he’s a much worse actor, and Hulk Hogan is a terrible actor. Gregg Hood and David Luther are atrocious heroes. Hood as Billy is particularly awful coming across like a socially inept lunatic. There’s a surreal moment where Dag rambles at Billy for ages about whales while Hood fiddles with a radar looking ready to explode.

Not that the actors have much to work with. The script, which unbelievably took three people to write is a fabulous mess. The dialogue swings from ludicrous shark diatribes to incomprehensible insults. (At one point, Billy screams “You fat FUCK!” in the villain’s face.) Subplots and characters are tossed around with little regard for logic. In a jaw-droppingly stupid party scene full of head-scratching lines (a girl says “I wanna dance!” while dancing), two (apparently) hot babes hook up with a couple of jocky antagonists. This would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that only a few scenes earlier they were chanting “dickbrain, dickbrain, dickbrain” in their dumbfounded faces.

Bruno Mattei doesn’t stop at merely lifting story elements from Jaws. Cruel Jaws has the audacity to steal footage from Jaws, its sequels and even other Italian shark efforts like Enzo G. Castellari’s awesome Great White (1981) and Joe D’Amato’s Deep Blood (1990). He even “borrows” the theme song from Star Wars, remixing it slightly and playing it over a few scenes and the end credits! The hack didn’t even bother building his own fake shark, which in my books is a crime against shark films.

In shark attacks scenes, the film cuts madly between so many different rubber sharks that it’s almost seizure inducing. Footage from Great White and Deep Blood is awkwardly wedged into scenes with no regard for continuity. The stock footage of sharks is completely random, darting between different sizes and even different species. Mattei doesn’t even bother to throw any blood into the water for the few pathetic shark attack scenes he actually bothered to film.

I struggle to say Cruel Jaws is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen because I had such a ferociously good time with it. It’s the hardest I’ve laughed during a movie, comedy genre included, for some time. While it may be the laziest and shittiest work of his career, and it’s certainly the most shameless, Bruno Mattei (R.I.P.) made trash movie magic with Cruel Jaws. Stupid magic, but magic nonetheless.

Dave Jackson, Mondo Exploito (click link for Dave’s full review)

Cruel Jaws has a handful of Euro DVD releases. I’m not really sure how “legit” any of them are, but they are available via Amazon.com. I can’t imagine it ever being granted a proper US release with the Universal lawsuit looming over it.

Wikipedia | IMDb

Related: 2-Headed Shark Attack | Cruel Jaws | Ghost Shark | Great White | Jaws | Jaws 2 | Jersey Shore Shark Attack | Jurassic Shark | Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus | Piranha Sharks | Psycho Shark | Sand Sharks | Shark Attack 3: Megalodon | The Shark is Still Working | Shark Week | Sharknado | Sharktopus | Snow Shark | Super Shark | Swamp Shark | Zombie Shark